A love letter to exhausted writers...

Katie Huttlestone - author of 'A Healthy Appetite' - shares a love letter to the exhausted writer.

My debut novel is well on its way to arriving in the world and I’ve never felt more exhausted. It’s frustrating really. At a time I should be jumping for joy I’m in bed by 8pm, willing myself to engage online and write more and better, all while teaching and attending my hospital appointments.

Every one of us writers have something that zaps our energy away from the page. If it isn’t chronic illness, it’s a chronically demanding job or family or relationship. To be human is to be torn in a hundred different directions. Even the most inflexible of us are contortionists, and to add writing a novel into the mix is a kind of epic trick: impressive after its been performed but showing none of the agonising hours of work behind the scenes.

On top of this, writing a novel demands razor-sharp focus – an ability to slip out of this world and into a different one. So how do we manage it? What gentle, loving acts can we perform to reach that end goal while avoiding burnout?

The following suggestions are those I’ve found helpful as a chronically ill writer, but that anyone might incorporate to be a little kinder to themselves.

1) Take a break – time is our most precious commodity. I’ve spent hours wasting it with words that were forced then eventually deleted. Sometimes, it’s more productive to take a month off and come back ravenous to the page rather than to limp on, producing work you’re unhappy with. If your energy allows, read voraciously and widely. Visit a gallery or see a show. Fill up that proverbial well until the words beg to be set down. You’re not a failure for pressing pause. It’s taken a while to silence my inner ableist and reimagine rest as a radical act of self-love.

2) Dare to dream – sometimes we’re so set on the end goal of publication that we forget to enjoy the craft. Try to avoid learning too much about the reality of publishing before your novel is written and ready to be submitted to agents. It’s an unkindness to yourself to pour over the disenchanting statistics of how many books ‘die on sub’ or even get picked up by agents. All of this is demotivating and can lead to a reluctance to take risks with your writing. You must fall in love with your story before anyone else can.

3) Check in with your emotions – being emotionally available is not just for those thinking of embarking on a fledgling relationship. Creativity only comes when your basic needs are being met. I won’t bang on about Maslow’s and his hierarchy, but he is right. Even accounting for our physiological needs can feel like a marathon task when we’re struggling emotionally. If you’re not able to write because you’re navigating health issues, or family issues, then don’t. If you force yourself to write when you’re distracted, then the fatigue and distress you’re experiencing will attach itself to your manuscript. You’ll start feeling that writing is causing you stress too, and this can become an association that’s hard to shake. Look after yourself first and foremost, then when you’re ready, return to the page.

4) Write little and not always often – word count goals are not for everyone. As a person with very limited energy, I’ve found them insurmountable on certain days. It used to be that if I’d written 500 words, I’d made it: I was worth it. These days, anything at all will do. I like the idea that just thinking about the story counts. Scribbling a few lines down on a receipt? It counts. Going for a walk and typing an idea into your notes app? It counts. Stay in touch with your manuscript whenever you can, in whatever form, but don’t get militant if you’re looking to protect your physical and mental health.

5) Get real – one of the most sustaining parts of being a writer is the community. I’m not sure there are many other crafts that invite such a wonderful bunch of generous people to speak so openly about how the process is going. If you haven’t already, connect with other writers and ask for help when you need it. Over the years, writer friends have read early versions of my manuscripts and offered invaluable feedback. It’s important you admit to yourself that writing is a community effort. Letting people in is so enriching because on the days you feel like giving up, they’re there to gently remind you that the only worse thing that facing the blank page is running away from it for good.

I’ll end by saying that if you’re writing a novel then you’re already doing more than those who claim they have a novel in them but never once sit down to have a go. Nothing else quite feels like the magic of writing ‘The End’, but to get there, apply as much kindness and patience as you can. You are your greatest tool, look after yourself.

Click to order Katie's new novel. Delightfully dark and addictive, A Healthy Appetite is a ravenous tale of morality vs mortality, that asks how much of yourself would you give up to become healthy? Perfect for fans of Sayaka Murata and Monika Kim.